Team Sanzo's New Job!
by Wild Goose 01
Summary: After the show wraps up, the Sanzo ikkou needs to find a new job...


Note: at long last, my saiyuki fic is done! Many thanks to the people who participated in helping me in the fic, and thanks to my supporters. I hope you enjoy this ifc. Now on to the story!

Disclaimer: Gensoumaden Saiyuki is property of Kazuya Minekura and Studio GONZO. No demons, heretics, Taboo Childs, higher gods, transforming dragons, other defenseless creatures or bakasarus were injured during the making of this fanfiction…well, not too badly….

**Team Sanzo's New Job!**

By Wild Goose 

Ah, the sound and smells of a summer's day. The air is fresh, the birds are singing, and the sun is shinning brightly. All is calm and peaceful…until now.

            "You bakasaru! You're the one who's caused us to run out of money, what with you eating everything in sight! Because of you, we have no more money, you stupid monkey!" hollered Sha Gojyo, wisibly angry.

            The object of his ire, a short, brown-haired youth gazed at him furiously through golden eyes. "You horny water monster! You're the one who's always buying liquor and condoms and Viagra! That's why we have no more money!" retorted Son Goku. 

            "Why you damn bakasaru!"

            "I'm neither baka nor a saru, you errokappa!"

            "How _dare_ you call me that, you bakasaru!"

            "Stop calling me that, you horny errokappa!"

            "Bakasaru!"

            "Errokappa!"

            "Bakasaru!"

            "Errokappa!"

            "Bakasaru!"

            "Errokappa!"

            "URUSAI! IKAGANINISHIRO! SHINEE!" BANG! BANG! BANG!__

            Goku and Gojyo both screamed, whimpered and clutched each other in terror at the sight of the highest-ranked monk in the land, dressed in full ceremonial robes, a red chakra on his forehead, a sutra draped over his shoulders…and the wrath of Genjo Sanzo. The blonde-haired monk's eyes blazed with purple fury, as smoke rose from the barrel of his gun. If looks could kill, Sanzo would be shelling out some more money to clean up the messy remains of Goku and Gojyo, and CSI Tokyo would have a very busy day identifying the remains.

            "If only time could stand still I could take care of that damn monk," muttered Gojyo.

            "Not in this lifetime or in your next," retorted Sanzo, his gun pointed at Gojyo, finger inching towards the trigger.

            "Matte, matte, Sanzo, and please don't bring your on-screen persona into real life," said Cho Hakkai placatingly, Hakuryu perched on his shoulder as usual. 

            "I do what I will. Get used to it," replied Sanzo, now fanniong himself with his famous holy fan.

            "Looks like the corrupted monk really _is_ corrupted," snickered Gojyo. "Ha ha ha…ha….ha…ha…" THWACK_! "Itai…" _

            Obviously, Gojyo has now received the wrath of said monk's holy fan.

            "Ne, Sanzo," began Goku, tugging on Sanzo's sleeve, "I'm hungry. When are we going to-" THWACK! "Itai," he moaned, before he resumed tugging on Sanzo's sleeve. "Ne, ne, aishiteru Sanzo?"

            THWACK THWACK THWACK THWACK THWACK!

            "ITAIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!"

            "Sanzo, I think you've hit him enough," remarked Hakkai conversationally. "Aren't you afraid he'll get brain damage?"

            "Hakkai, he could be hit a _million_ times and he wouldn't suffer any permanent damage. That bakasaru really _was_ born from a rock."

            "Besides, he was already brain-damaged when we found him," snickered Gojyo, as Goku shouted "You red cockroach!"

            "Why you stupid-"

            BANG!

            Goku and Gojyo immediately found other things to do.

            "That's not very nice, Sanzo," said Hakkai, as Gojyo added, "Yeah, how come he gets to hit us on the head and shoot at us with that gun?"

            "Because I didn't spend all the money on food, and I didn't spend all the money on drink and I didn't spend all the money on libido-enhancing pills!" 

            Gojyo cowered again involuntarily at the sight of Sanzo waving the holy (?) fan around dangerously.

            "Now, now, let's not get to preoccupied, we have more important things to discuss," said Hakkai, still smiling cheerily. 

            "Yes. Thanks to that bakasaru and errokappa, we've run out of money. Hakkai, what's the situation?"

            "My fellow men," began Hakkai in a grave, serious tone, "we're almost bankrupt!" he finished, smiling widely and pointing up with one finger. Goku stared at him stunned, Gojyo fell backwards to land on his back and it was all Sanzo could do to refrain from taking out his gun and shooting at Hakkai, as a vein popped on his forehead. "Actually," continued Hakkai, "We have 30,000 yen left in our bank account. This will last us for the next week before we're out of money."

            At the sound of the words "30,000 yen", Goku and Gojyo immediately began dreaming of what they could buy with that money. If they could open up their minds and you could take a look inside, the results would be this:

Goku:_Food, Food, Food, Food, Food, Food, Food, Food, Food, Food, Food, ffoooooooodddddddddddd……._

Gojyo: _Liquor, cigarettes, Viagra, Liquor, cigarettes, Viagra, Liquor, cigarettes, Viagra…._

Sanzo: _Beer, bullets, cigarettes, extra fan, beer, bullets, cigarettes, beer, bullets, beer, bullets, extra fan, beer, bullets…_

            "Why will it last us for so short a time?" asked Sanzo, drawing his thoughts back to the matter at hand.

            "Well, the rent's due tomorrow, I need to get groceries, we need to pay our electricity and Internet bills, Hakuryu needs to go for his checkup, and that pretty much eats up everything. We need to come up with some way to make money. Ever since the show finished shooting, we've been out of jobs. Does anyone have any suggestions?"

            "Hey, corrupted monk, how about opening a karaoke lounge-cum-bar with "side benefits"?" suggeste4d Gojyo slyly, his expression giving no doubt what kind of "side benefits" he meant. His expression changed when Sanzo's fan inevitably connected with his head.

            "Ne, Sanzo, we could open a snack bar," suggested Goku, a child-like expression on his face. 

            "Bakasaru!" THWACK!

            Obviously, Goku's expression has now changed.

            "Ne, Sanzo," he continued, rubbing the large bump on his head, "you could reprise your role as Sanji from "One Piece"."

            _CLICK._

            "Sanzo, doushite?"

            "Urusai," hissed Sanzo through clenched teeth. 

            "Hey, Sanzo-sama, what happened to that Gold Card?" drawled Gojyo.

            "Kazuya took it back."

            "Oh. Why?"

            "She said something about us running up bills that were too high," explained Hakkai, chuckling. "Anyway, if no one has any suggestions, I have an idea. We can form a band and play in bars or concerts. To do that, we need to make a demo tape first."

            "Ne, Sanzo what's a band? Is it edible?"

            THWACK!

            "ITAI!"

            "Hakkai, elaborate," demanded Sanzo, fanning himself with the fan.

            "Well, we could form a band and perform. To do that, we need a song. How's this?" asked Hakkai, taking out an electric keyboard. His fingers danced across the keys, playing the melody for "Still Time" singing

_sou__ sa   Make a Treasure_

_sabitsuita__   toki no naka ni   kimi no koe wo kiku_

_kono__ mama todoketai_

_hikari__ no naka   kimi ga matte'ru_

_sou__ shinjite'ru kara   ima sugu ni_

            "Wow, sugoi ne!" exclaimed Goku.

            "Cool, Hakkai. You da man!" shouted Gojyo, giving Hakkai a thumbs-up.

            "It has potential," murmured Sanzo. "What will Ke'ichi say? He _is the composer and copyright holder."_

            "I persuaded him to transfer all rights to me" smiled Hakkai. "It was actually easy to do once I got him drunk. Besides, I helped with the arrangement of the song. Anyway, here's the lyrics sheet and score, and I think we can make this work. Sanzo, you take the bass guitar and vocals, Goku, you take the lead, Gojyo, you take the drums and I'll handle the keyboard. Any questions? Then let's practice!"

            "Ne, ne, Sanzo ne, what's practice?"

_To be continued…_

Ending thoughts: Well, that's my first story so far. I'm intending to have the Sanzo-ikkou go on to become music stars, maybe do their own concert, playing songs from the Saiyuki soundtrack. If any of you have any suggestions for songs, please email the lyrics to me and I'll put them in. Okay! Sayonara!

Many thanks to black gargie for pre-reading this fic.


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